Worry can take away from your overall well-being, success, and performance. But how do you not worry when things stack up, you get behind, and overwhelmed? What does spirituality have to do with it?
In this blog post, I’m simply sharing a very, very personal moment.
And then how I felt God respond. We are all relational… so is he.
If you ever deal with worry, I hope my very personal moment may help, inspire, or strengthen you for your own spirituality, success, and well-being.
My Prayer Before Starting the Day
Thank you Lord. I close my eyes, taking in a deep breath to prepare for my day. For any success is yours. I cannot do it with my own mind and my own power. My own power leaves weaknesses, and you are my source of strength.
As I stand here in the middle of my room, looking how to tackle my day, I honestly admit I didn’t want to start with spending time with you.
I just wanted to get started and tackle the overwhelming tasks I need to do. I have more pieces I need to add to my book, run my business, write emails, blog posts, and the list goes on.
Oh, and taxes were due last month and have yet to even tackle that.
I sensed my breathing getting more shallow just thinking about that list, but again bring my mind back to being in your presence.
Where your Presence is, there is no worry.
It doesn’t mean I don’t have a long list of things to do… but my energy, focus, strength, and peace comes from you. There is no room for worry.
You remind me that by being in your presence, I will be ok. You’ve shown me to approach my day with wisdom, which is to email a promise to my subscribers, and continue to be aware of your presence while I calculate my taxes.
There is no room for doubt. There is no room for worry. There is no room for self-reliance.
Thank you, Lord, for your presence, direction, clarity, and wisdom.
Focus on His Presence
You’ve heard it again and again not to worry. And I know you find yourself there. Try to look at it this way… that worry won’t help, bring wisdom, or add any joy or years to your life, but will do the opposite.
How does one deal with such a worry?
It’s not by you and your power alone, but it’s by Mine.
Visualize my very Presence surrounding your very being. A Presence so strong, so loving, so protective, that worry cannot penetrate. The only time it can is when you allow your being and awareness to step out of that protective Presence.
Struggles, troubles, and problems will always arise. But keeping yourself centered in my Presence is what gives you the perspective and power to effectively deal with them. Tackling them on your own without me, only equates to self-reliance, doubt, and turning into worry.
When you find yourself there, immediately invite My presence back into your awareness. My Presence is always there, I have never and will never leave you, but it’s your awareness you must convince.
So train your mind, My dear.
Always bring your awareness back to My presence.
It’s stronger than any worry.
Fitness might look a little different this year. At least it does to me. While I have always been focused on weight training and minimal cardio in just three days a week to get optimal results, I’ve had my perspective shift.
Not a complete shift, though.
Lifting weights is still the way to go for ultimate results, but for the sake of metabolic health and increasing immunity, I am now cherishing cardio more than I ever have. I’m lifting at the gym, and having fun doing cardio with my Bowflex C6 Bike at home.
With lifting three-ish days a week and increasing a little HIIT afterwards, you can have it all. At least, that’s what I’m doing.
I’m getting the results, increasing my metabolic health, increasing my immunity, and also taking my mental health more seriously than ever before. Also leading Immunity and Wellness events, so be sure to subscribe if you haven’t already so you can join.
MENTAL HEALTH APPROACH TO YOUR WORKOUTS
Be kind to yourself. While before there may be more tension for counting calories and macros, and letting weight loss be your goal for fitness, look at it differently.
Approach with the perspective of taking care of your mental health, overall well-being, and relationships.
ADJUST YOUR DIAL FOR NUTRITION, TRAINING, AND OVERALL WELL-BEING
Hey, we aren’t always doing our best. It’s ok to not be ok. However, it’s not ok to feel sorry for ourselves. I learned that one when I crushed both of my ankles and had to learn to walk again. No matter what; do NOT feel sorry for yourself.
Look at your dial. Maybe you can’t be at a 10, and that’s ok. What do YOU need for YOU and YOUR mental health right now? It’s better you adjust your dial back to where you need it versus jumping off the wagon and feeling awful about yourself.
You have this dial to feel more empowered. Take some pressure off yourself.
Thank you to Dr. John Berardi of Precision Nutrition who gave permission to use the dials for coaching and publishing purposes.
Sometimes trying to do all the things can be overwhelming. Instead of mastering everything, master your dials. Get to know them well, and to adjust them for what is best for you. Mastering the dials can be a great beginning to mastering self.
WORKOUT WITH ME
With these principles. you can adjust the intensity of your training and nutrition. If there are times you can turn up the heat, then do it! But take care of your mental health in the process. Master your dials. Be kind to yourself.
To work out with me, you will need full access to a gym. I’ll show you step by step how to use the equipment, how to get results, all while enjoying your life at the same time. Click here to get started.
WHAT’S YOUR DIAL ON?
Let me know in the comments, where you feel you need to be with your dials! You have the power to adjust them. Where are yours?
I pray this brings you encouragement. Although this blog is for training, nutrition, and the 10 areas of performance, I had something else is mind. It’s a ‘I think I should just share what’s on my heart and shoot from the hip’ kind of post.
The one that isn’t well thought out nor organized. No overarching purpose to teach you, but simply for me to write and pray that it still helps you in some way.
PRAYER TO START THE DAY
“Well, Lord, I don’t know what I should offer today if anyone may read this,” I prayed in my conversation with God.
He led me to read a devotional, Jesus Calling, however, the devotion for the day still didn’t seem like the thing I needed to share.
So I went back to God and asked, “Lord, what do people need to hear today?” Knowing most people don’t care about what we ‘need’ to hear, but only what we ‘want’ to hear. I’m sure you didn’t ‘want’ to hear that either. None of us do.
CONNECTING WITH EMOTIONS
Instead of using the devotion for this post, He showed me the cartoon, Inside Out. Have you seen it? It’s about an 11 year old little girl that had to move to San Fransisco for a completely new life and crazy uncertainties. It shows each of her emotions trying to work through the major transition, where Joy and Sadness are no longer part of her.
Fear, Disgust, and Anger are trying to pretend to be Joy for the little girl, but it’s just getting worse.
A transition like where most of us are: in the middle of the pandemic and crazy uncertainties, mandates, depression, and loneliness. I know you feel it, or have felt it. I certainly pray you aren’t feeding it.
A time where joy has been forgotten, in both the movie and in our lives. We feel the fear, disgust, and anger, and some feed it.
DON’T ALLOW FEAR, DISGUST, AND ANGER TO LEAD YOU OR FEED YOU
There is a place for fear, disgust, and anger, but you aren’t supposed to be guided by them. Just like every emotion is important, but they should never dictate your life. They point to something deeper.
What is dictating your life? What emotions? What gods?
Seriously quiet your heart and ask. Pray. Let God show you just as he just told me to share this movie in hopes to speak to the one that needed it.
Being filled and led by fear, disgust, and anger is toxic to your health mentally, emotionally, and physically. Learn how I deal with it here.
Towards the end of the movie, the 11 year old Riley completely lost her personality. Everything went blank. She had no emotions by the time she got on a bus to run away. She stared off in the distance, at this point, just numb. Her emotions were on lock down. At least they were until Joy and Sadness found their way back.
ARE YOU IN LOCK DOWN?
Don’t let your emotions lead you, nor shut down from them. You need your joy.
Yes, things really suck right now. But don’t let your joy get shut down or locked down. You do have control over that. Even when things suck, you do. I pray you believe that and have hope.
INVITE JOY BACK INTO YOUR LIFE
Even when things suck, invite joy.
Over and over again invite it, look for it, create it, collect it, be it, and share it. The world needs it. You need it. Your family needs it.
Time out. Now I need to chuckle. A chuckle while saying, “Jesus, your timing is always perfect.”
I say that because at this very moment I type this, God showed me that maybe I can use todays devotion from Jesus Calling. I didn’t plan on it as I began writing, but I trusted Jesus while typing this out to encourage someone to not let fear, anger, and disgust guide them. And for others, to not be emotionally or physically on lock down.
As you invite joy over and over again, looking for it, creating it, and collecting it; here’s what todays devotion read:
As you go through this day, look for tiny treasures strategically placed along the way. I lovingly go before you and plant little pleasures to brighten your day. Look carefully for them, and pluck them one by one. When you reach the end of your day, you will hav gathered a lovely bouquet. Offer it up to Me with a grateful heart. Receive My Peace as you lie down to sleep, with thankful thoughts playing a lullaby in your mind. – Jesus Calling
GOD’S PERFECT TIMING
Even when things suck, God still has perfect timing. Though this time of uncertainty, still be certain of his timing. Still be certain of not giving up. Still be certain you have the power to invite joy and share it. Still be certain to keep fighting for, believing in, and becoming what you could be. Living in fear, disgust, and anger shouldn’t be that.
Just as I had absolutely no intention to use a devotional today, by the time I got to some sort of conclusion, the Holy Spirit was there to surprise me. That devotional ended up being exactly what I didn’t know I needed, in His perfect timing. He keeps me on my toes. I just have to be willing to look for those moments. Glad you could be part of one today. But trust in His perfect timing.
You were created with emotions, but don’t let them guide you. Let your faith do that.
FEED JOY AND HOPE
If you were encouraged in any way, please share below. If not, please don’t comment. Choose to not feed into fear, anger, and disgust, and instead joy and hope.
She picked up the red balloon and we went outside to play. We laughed as we would hit the balloon as high as we could but tried to not let it hit the ground. Kind of felt like my old volleyball days, except much slower!
We lunged closer to the grass as we chased the balloon.
The balloon hit a blade of grass and that’s all it took to pop.
My three year old was startled and cried, but thankfully I had a bag of birthday balloons. I blew up another one to keep the game going.
YOUR LIFE IS LIKE A BALLOON
The more I filled the balloon, the thinner it became, and easier it was to pop.
“Wow, that balloon is so much like me right now!”
If only we didn’t feel the need to fill it as full as it could possibly be. How about deflate the balloon a little bit and get some more playtime?
Imagine if we lived life like that. Imagine living with more space in our minds, instead it being completely occupied like that bursting balloon.
DON’T BE THAT BALLOON
If you are, no judgement. I get it.
I find myself there often, and am sensitive enough to reevaluate before I am the one popping! Right?
Deflate a little. Just a little.
Get some more headspace.
Take off some pressure.
Laugh a little more.
Be a little less intense.
Practice gratitude and lower your stress levels.
We don’t anticipate stress. It hits us out of nowhere. We sign up for things all while juggling life and putting out fires all day. We think we are in a ‘good place’ when we take some things off our plate, but immediately replace it with something else. I am soooo guilty of that!
While I am not asking you to be a beach bum with no dreams or goals, I am challenging your balloon blowing flexibility. You don’t want to pop, but you also don’t want to completely give up either and be some weak blubbery balloon flailing in the wind either.
The balloon needs to deflate just a little. Your mind and life needs a little headspace or a little wiggle room, or else you will pop with the slightest prick.
I mainly work with people who want the most out of life, as do I! Those kind of people aren’t interested in sitting on the couch for hours every day. They WANT their balloon as full as possible while still enjoying it. They want to fly high, have perspective from above, and not stress about a simple thing popping them. It’s a fine line sometimes.
I know because that’s me, too and there isn’t anything wrong with that… except the popping part.
All photos from this post are by Staley.
HOW TO LIVE A FULL LIFE WITHOUT POPPING
I just want to say, YES YOU CAN.
I get it, you want to do all the things. You want to be successful, happy, strong, healthy, spiritual, in love, etc, etc.
It’s a constant balancing act that can have you stressed out to the max. You can feel like that over-inflated balloon ready to pop.
It’s time to revaluate and maybe be a little less intense, and a whole lot more joy. Heck yes.
KEEP STRESS LOW AND PERFORMANCE HIGH
When you keep piling on the stress, and seeing how far you can stretch that balloon, it’s not going to take much to pop it at all. Rest, retreats, exercise, massage, morning routines, meditation, prayer, and other self-care forms are crucial to balancing your balloon.
I recently shared in this post how I went on a simple drive to reset my mind. Having moments like that allow your mind to heal and breathe. It gives yourself some space to perform better. Pushing hard without recovery time will leave you as one miserably injured athlete, one overworked business man who isn’t performing like he used to, on his way to awful health repercussions, intense personality, and weaker relationships because of it.
So if you want to get back in the game to live life to the fullest, and without popping from stress, you need a more holistic perspective.
A more holistic perspective that the highest performers from around the world have a few practices that help them become that way.
(They weren’t born like that, it didn’t just plop down on their laps, and it was not overnight success. Only bitter and jealous hearts say that. If that’s you, clean that toxic crap out right now before it pulls you down any further. Read How to Deal With Toxins Here and deal with ASAP.)
INCREASE JOY IN EVERY AREA OF YOUR LIFE TO PERFORM HIGHER
What if you laid off the intensity of that balloon? What if it wasn’t stretch too thin?
Would you enjoy life a little more? Be a little less intense? Maybe not on the verge of popping at the next thing?
Revaluate like the highest performers around the world do by checking in on your ten main areas of your life.
Coming from the fitness industry, I’ve watched people become obsessed and swallowed up by their own obsession, that their other areas dried up. What good is a fit body if you have miserable relationships and hate your career? What good is obsessing about your macros and calories if your marriage dissolves while your face was crammed in your phone calculating every morsel, and your kid grew up by the time you looked away from your phone. This is why I teach and coach people how to get fit without obsessing over it.
Being a maxed out balloon really hurts… when it meets a single blade of grass and explodes.
The truth really freaking hurts sometimes, but you can always reevaluate.
HOW TO REEVALUATE
The highest performers around the world look at ten main areas of their life. It’s not just financial. It’s not just fitness either.
There are TEN.
To deflate the intensity of your balloon a little, look at all ten areas.
“Now, Bailey, that stresses me out even more to think I have to reevaluate TEN areas,” you are thinking?
No, don’t think of it that way. Don’t think of it as another thing to do, or another thing to add to your list that you just don’t have time for. This is stuff that increases your overall wellness, health, success, performance, and JOY.
You perform higher when you do things like that.
Stress levels decrease.
All good things, right?
Your balloon can be a little less intense. You aren’t so easy to pop whether you are by yourself, with your team, wife, kids, or on social media. (Hello, keyboard cowboys, that means you!)
RATE YOUR TEN AREAS OF LIFE
- Marriage/Intimate Partner
- Emotional Intelligence
WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR TEN AREAS
Author and the worlds leading high performance coach, Brendon Buchard who works with celebrities, executives, and Olympians are all challenged with these 10 areas. You can be so focused on your work, that you’ve lost meaning in it, at least, until you look at all 10 areas again.
You have perhaps forgotten the importance of adventure or learning a new hobby. Your spirituality has maybe been dimmed a little. Your marriage isn’t as healthy as it could be.
However, when you look at these ten areas, Buchard encourages everyone he works with, to rate their joy in each area every single Sunday. Not only rate it, but make goals in each area to increase the joy.
Do you know what joy can do?
It can help soften that intense balloon of yours so you can finally enjoy the game without life passing you by. You won’t be so easily popped. It’s a weight off your shoulders. It’s a feeling of lightness where that balloon can stay afloat and enjoy the ride a little more.
So before you pop, revaluate your ten areas! If it’s easier to do this in person, stay in contact for future events and retreats.
GO DEEPER WITH ME
For more in depth study of the high performance life, check out my master course. See what other professionals are saying. I’d love to guide you through it in more detail. You’ll get more guidance and enjoy it more. Let’s do this!
WHAT IS YOUR STRONGEST AREA?
So what about you? Of those ten areas, which one do you think you have the highest amount of joy in? Let me know in the comments below!
Last night I was cleaning out the bathtub and putting my two-year old’s bath toys in the basket. She came next to me, placed her hands on the side of the tub, and watched as I squeezed the extra water from floating around inside the toys.
When we don’t do that, the mold seems to grow faster, destroys the toys, and makes for a disgusting bath time. As she watched me squeeze, she grabbed one for herself.
By the way, when someone says a child is too young to understand what’s going on, that’s a lie. They absolutely, positively, know, and feel it. It becomes a part of their critical development of their own childhood and who they become as an adult. So this is all good to remember that when we are talking to people a certain way, treating animals a certain way, and especially the way we love and respect our spouse; they see and absorb it all.
I’m far from being a perfect parent, but I at least want to example a kind and loving human being.
So she squeezed the toys with me, slowly cleaning out the tub and bath toys. You see, when you let water stay inside, it becomes stagnant, inviting bacteria and mold. I was totally grossed out when mold leaked from a toy during one bath time, and she was surrounded by slimy patches of gooey mold. Gross, right?
The same thing happens to us when we ignore stagnation or anything toxic within us. It could be something like guilt, shame, depression, fear of failure, doubt, unforgiveness, bitterness, lust, self-hate, jealousy, envy… it’s all stuff that becomes mold.
They seem so petty and harmless, right? But no. They grow like a cancer. We become a breeding ground for toxic growth and eat away at us from the inside out.
When we carry around unforgiveness, it will mold and destroy our insides, float around in our minds, thoughts, actions, and our physical bodies. The mold continues to grow and destroy relationships, families, and dreams. Yet, we say it’s not that big of a deal.
If you want something as simple as happiness, this stuff still needs to be dealt with.
Just like that little bath toy that released all the slimy goo throughout the entire tub, it does the same to our lives.
Life as a Massage Therapist
As a Licensed Massage Therapist for nearly 20 years, I see and touch the bodies that have carried the guilt, pride, trauma, and other negative emotions and pressures I talked about above. It’s not just some little part of our brain that we shush into a corner and hopes to go away, but it oozes into our thoughts, our posture, our muscle memory, and can thus create long-lasting pain and discomfort that when left untreated, causes even more damage.
We need to be regularly cleansed, purified, and renewed for the sake of our health mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, culturally, and relationally. I mean, ALL THE WAYS.
Spending most of my life in the church, it is often taken out of context what it means to live purely. Most interpret this to keep it in your pants and to keep your legs crossed. But what people are really missing here is how deep the need for purity really is.
We need purity to thrive at our best and God wants that for us.
It isn’t just a sexual thing, don’t you see? We are being blinded even more so to think it is. Completely blinded.
Get Rid of Your Toxin
If you want the most for this life and for what God has for you, you need a pure heart and a pure mind to get that crap out of the way. Simple as that. It’s bacteria, mold, and cancer that destroys you from the inside out. And we are fools to think we can ignore it, compartmentalize it, or contain it, because it’s a disease that eats through all the barriers you try to put up.
We really are a breeding ground for such destruction, but even a better breeding ground for faith. It depends on what we choose.
Anyone can act like they have it all together and hide and shush the doubt, fear, lack of belief, trauma, bitterness, unforgiveness, jealousy, anger, lust, greed, idols….. Should I keep listing?
We all have something, just pick one and deal with it. And we each have enough to keep ourselves busy, that there is no need to point something out in another. We each have enough to work on.
So if there is anything toxic within you taking you away from the life you should have, be done with it. Lay it down at the cross, and don’t you dare pick it back up. Instead, be a breeding ground of faith.
Pausing to Pray and Reflect
Not going to lie. I had already published this post and then stopped to pray and ask God to show me where there was any other mold, toxin, or cancer in my life. And it couldn’t have been any louder to hear that my mold is that I care waayyyy to much of what people think. So excuse me while I go work on what holds me back to live the life I know God has for me.
Hope you take some time to pray and reflect, too. It’s good for the soul, and we could use some good souls around the world. Be one of them.
Since I have been a therapist now for 20 years, I can’t help that I see people’s pain and trauma. It’s so much more difficult to hide as you age. That means, the sooner we just tackle it all, the easier each tackle becomes. The less intimidating it becomes. I can see it in their habits, posture, and perspective.
Things like our health, managing stress, overcoming our issues, enjoying life, and having happier relationships. It’s all part of our overall well-being, success, and performance.
But I saw her as I stood in a long line for wine tasting. I was there by myself for much needed alone time. I myself, needed time to process, heal, and work through my current pain. Read More Here on Being Healthier and Happier.
She was elderly. Hair was colored and thinning. Makeup beautifully done and intentional. However, my attention went back to her posture, her neck, and her emotions that seemed stuck in her neck and traps.
She stood out to me. I wondered her story behind her pain. She didn’t need to tell me she was in pain, I could see it.
I wondered what she held.
Wanting and desperately needing time to myself, I still asked myself if I should join her to listen. That maybe voicing her pain or seeing someone who cared, could help diffuse the manifestations in her neck.
Besides, she was alone, too.
At least, I thought.
THE STORY DOESN’T END THERE
I was about to order my glass of wine, and that’s when I saw an older gentleman. He left the bar with a chilled bottle of champagne in a silver bucket, and two glasses. His fragile frame shuffled his feet through the outdoor patio to meet her.
It was a precious moment that I felt like I wasn’t supposed to see.
He concentrated on every single shuffle to get closer to her and her eyes absolutely lit up to see him.
It was then my own eyes filled with tears and I didn’t even get to drink my wine yet.
YOUR STORY ISN’T OVER
I didn’t know their story and we don’t know all of ours either.
That’s part of the beauty, yet part of the pain.
Especially in a time like this, where many of us are in difficult and uncertain times and place. Many of us are holding in our own necks and traps. Transferring into our health, well-being, relationships, and success… or lack of.
We see our pain, we feel it, and we wonder what the rest of our story is. We wonder what the next step is.
DON’T LOSE FAITH
We wonder where God is in the midst of this. We wonder when our eyes will light up again, when our hearts will stir with passion and purpose.
Sometime’s God shows you when you take precious moments to be present. It’s not about being busy all the time because that’s where you miss the best moments.
In fact, this was only a few weeks after I lost my third baby in a year.
I wanted alone time. Time to process and time to heal. Not sure how long that will take, but I had this weekend to work with. That’s why this time was a retreat for me and became so much more.
WHY YOU NEED A RETREAT NOW MORE THAN EVER
Your retreat doesn’t have to be some extensive vacation. You can do what I did, and find a nearby destination. Find something easy and make it happen. Get there and completely unplug, be renewed, and get a fresh perspective.
I drove north for two hours until I got to a lighthouse, sat on a rock, and listened to waves. I unplugged from technology so I could be present, went wine tasting completely by myself, listened to live music, and wrote this story in my journal while tears fell on the page. Exactly what I needed. Even the tears.
I needed a retreat. We all do.
Retreats are needed on a regular basis for your overall well-being, success, and performance.
It’s part of your story… a better, deeper, and fuller one.
You do NOT want to wear stress, pain, and trauma not dealt with. As a therapist I see it all the time. The mental and emotional weight will pull down your physical body. If you don’t get renewed on a regular basis, you won’t be able to hide that anymore. It will take you further away from well-being, success, and performing higher in your life. So the sooner you can have a little (or a big) retreat for yourself, do it. Your future self will thank you for it!
HOW TO FIND RETREATS
Look for local interests near you or join me for future events. From outdoor activities, spas, silent retreats in monasteries, focus group retreats (some for men, women, couples, special interest), wellness parties, fitness retreats, to wine tasting for a few ideas. Check out this article for ideas: How to Take a Break When You Can’t Travel Far.
Make it part of your lifestyle of being renewed because how you spend your life is how you spend a day. So make renewal part of your daily habits and don’t wait for when stress, pain, trauma, and whatever issues hold you back and suppress you. Move forward, don’t be held down.
Be brave and face it. Heal from it. Don’t let it dwell in your mind or your body. Become more successful, healthier, and happier because you do this regularly. It will become easier and easier and more rewarding the more you do. Read Three Things You Need for a Happier and Healthier You for more ideas.
Thank you for reading my post. I hope you felt inspired or empowered in some way. If you were, please share this.
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